Sometimes I'll just start daydreaming about being with a woman, not in a sexual way exactly. I think about being in a relationship. Telling weird jokes to make her laugh. Comforting each other when the world gets to be too much. Yelling with tears in our eyes when we fight. Laying next to each other and wanting time to slow down or stop while I touch her side and feel her arms around me. The taste, the touch, the sound, the smell, are all I have because I can never keep a clear image of her in my mind.
Then I snap out of it and realize that those were several minutes that I'll never have back.